Stress Levels

It has been some time since my last post (14 months) and I realized that my stress level has gotten higher than I would like so here I am…trying to stay sober. I wanted to take the time to write a little about stress and trying to get through it without picking up a bottle. Before, I would get stressed and drink to the point where I was ruining my life with alcohol. I would drink to let myself forget about what it was that stressed me out and this turned into a daily occurrence to the point where I couldn’t even remember the night before. We all have our excuses for drinking, most of them are trivial and most are ridiculous. In fact, the harmful effects of drinking, both socially and to your health, render every single one of them trivial and ridiculous.

 For me, alcoholism is now a tiny voice in my head saying stupid shit like, “bro, your stressed. Chug a bottle of vodka and forget about your problems.” That voice is stupid and highly dysfunctional but it’s there and the more stressed I am at home and or work the more I can’t help but hear that voice. Honestly I don’t have any magic saying that fixes this, it is part of my life and something that I have to live with. It sucks but its real and while somedays staying sober is simple, some day’s its like watching Jon Snow kill Daenerys, hard and sad.

I don’t know the answer but what I do know is that life for everyone is hard. For me, it may just seem harder because of how I used to handle it. Being human means you are bound to have stress and it is just part of being alive. Figuring out how to handle it in a healthy way is super important and while I don’t have the answers, what I do have is knowing that nothing I stress about in life is worth picking that bottle back up.  And for now, that’s good enough for me.

Sometimes you just need to stop and smell the flowers...