Parenting is Hard Work

Being a parent is work. Hard work. Those little monsters make you want to rip your hair out half the time right before they smother you with hugs and kisses. It’s ridiculous. The thing is, I couldn’t man up when I was a dad at first. It took me 6 months before I finally realized that I had to be a sober father if I wanted to be a good father. Nobody told me this but im telling you. If your wife, girlfriend, or whatever has just told you that she is pregnant, you've got less than nine months to grow up.

Before you can really be present as a husband or father, no matter what age you are, the transition from guyhood to manhood is totally a thing. I was 30 when my son was born but I wasn’t man enough to be a father.  It seems as if as a society, we don’t really know what manhood really means. If I say manhood, what comes to mind? Chuck Norris? Beards? Not crying? Super manly stuff right there, am I right? These are the ways in which our culture has conditioned us to think about manhood. But those things aren't what manhood is. So what is manhood? For me, it is being able to embrace adult responsibility.

Embracing fatherhood for me was to embrace my adult responsibility and to quit acting like I was the only person that mattered. Children don’t give a shit how many trashcans you can drink at the Pio, how long you can do a keg stand or about your state championship in high school. They don’t care how big their house is and they don’t even care if you drive.

Children need consistency, love and support and for me, I could only offer those things if I quit drinking.

Being a parent isn’t easy and I applaud all parents out their doing their best because I know how those sweet little monkeys can turn into Chucky in an instant. You aren't going to get everything right. Everything isn't going to be perfect and that is okay. The role as a dad will last a lifetime. You'll soon see that perfection isn't the point. Showing up, being present, getting up, and trying again is what counts. That's what separates the donors from the fathers. Those are the things your kids will remember.