18 Months Sober

18 months sober today. I can hardly believe it’s been 18 months and at the same time I cannot believe it’s only been 18 months. At this point in my sobriety I still feel pretty fragile because of some lingering anger and resentments I have with myself for spending my entire twenties in a drunken fog. On one level, I feel like there were people who knew very well what was happening to me and never intervened because they needed me to be the way I was. But, on the other hand, I think these same people didn't know what the hell to do with me because I pretended like nothing was wrong.

 I have never dealt very well with change even though I may seem fine on the outside, I get stuck in a comfort zone. Although I was miserable when I was drinking, I drank anyway because I knew what was going to happen, this was my routine. Now my routine has drastically changed from picking up a bottle of booze to slinging bottles of milk daily and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am happy knowing that if I continue on this path, my children will never see me with a drink in my hand, and for that I am forever thankful.