Seeing that this is my first holiday season sober, I find it to be pretty tough. Holidays are a little different than when I would normally get loaded for no apparent reason, because EVERYONE seems to be loosening up and having a few drinks, whether it’s at a Holiday party, or the annual New Year’s Eve party, it’s true that people are a tad merrier and tend to overdo it during the Holiday Season.
Looking back, there were Holidays where I was completely blacked out, times I drank from morning until night. Egg nog, (spiked of course)Baileys with my coffee, beer, whiskey, wine, you name it, I was drinking it. Apparently this was me getting in the holiday spirit but now I see it was just a reason for me to get extra sauced because I wasn’t doing it alone. It was standard procedure for people to drink during the holidays which left the door open for me to have a field day with booze.
As an alcoholic I have a natural tendency to obsess about things, so let’s just say that I think about drinking a lot more during the holidays than what I normally would. I know that the parties will go on without me but just because I am sober doesn’t mean I can’t be a part of normal holiday get-togethers. I know not everyone knows my story and I will get asked “you want a beer or just have one, one drink won’t hurt.” I know I can’t just have ONE drink and stop, that just isn’t me. I have to pick and choose my situations wisely in hopes of enjoying the holiday season just like everyone else. If I just say no, I am bound to get hounded by somebody for being "lame” and that is totally fine with me. I may not be getting wasted with you but it does make me feel good knowing that I will wake up refreshed on Christmas morning to see my son’s face light up while opening presents. (even though he is 1.5 and has no clue what is going on)
I am at peace this holiday season knowing that my family is safe, healthy and happy and that I am not going through this alone. Everyone be safe out there and remember that taking a cab is totally worth it.